After bidding a tearful goodbye, ousted Attorney General Jeff Sessions “hopped on a sleigh back to the North Pole, where he will only have seven weeks to finish making all of those toys,” Trevor Noah joked on Thursday’s Daily Show. “Yeah, gotta make toys for all those kids he put in cages — too soon?” The audience suggested yes. “Since Sessions is gone, let’s focus on the man who’s replacing him,” Matt Whitaker, Noah said.
Whitaker was a tight end for the University of Iowa, a federal prosecutor for five years, and a failed Senate candidate in 2014, Noah said. Oh, and “there is one other thing about Whitaker that probably makes him the perfect pick for President Trump: He shares a similar passion for business ethics.” That passion is low, of course — a company Whitaker helped lead shut down after paying a $26 million federal fine for fraud. “How’s America going to hire who scams hot-tub inventors as its top cop?” Noah asked. “That seems like a real conflict of interest to me.”
Whitaker was also a fixture on CNN, making one specific argument: Kneecap Special Counsel Robert Mueller. “So the guy who’s now in charge of the Mueller investigation was on CNN over a dozen times s–t-talking Mueller and his investigation,” Noah said. Well, it turns out that was a “devious and so impressive” a scam, too. “He knew that Trump spends all day watching CNN, so he wasn’t just trash-talking Mueller for no reason, he was trying to lure the president in,” he said. “But Whitaker’s plan to get Trump’s attention on TV worked even better than he expected, because all he wanted was to be a judge in Iowa and now he’s the acting attorney general. That’s like applying to be a cashier at Ross Dress for Less and then they’re like, ‘Forget cashier, you’re Ross!’” Dulcé Sloan also offered her thoughts. Watch below. Peter Weber