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Hearing loss doesn’t have to result in negative outcomes. With early intervention and today’s hearing aid technology, it’s possible for someone with hearing loss to maintain relationships and participate socially.
For the best possible outcome, you need to catch the problem early. Troast points to signals like louder TV volume, mishearing comments from others and withdrawal from conversations and activities as some of the most obvious red flags.
Loved ones are often in a better position to spot early warning signs of hearing loss than the person who has it. All these early indicators build gradually, making them hard to notice or easier to excuse in yourself. That means adult children have an important role to play in helping their parents spot these early signs.
2. Cultivate empathy for your parents
If you do notice some indicators of hearing loss, resist the temptation to jump right in and start pointing them out. Before you speak, Troast emphasizes, put yourself in your parent’s shoes and imagine how you’d like to be addressed in this situation.
“Understand that it is your parent’s decision,” Troast says. “They’re going to be the ones that have to put the hearing aids on every day.”
Realize that a parent’s resistance is likely about much more than a fear of finagling with hearing aids. They may be uneasy about losing their independence or shaken by signs that their health is deteriorating. A little empathy may help disarm these defenses and set a positive tone for the conversation.
3. Focus on relationships
As serious as some of the risks of untreated hearing loss are, Troast cautions against using fear as the primary motivator. Rather, he suggests focusing on your relationship.
That may mean pointing out the things you enjoy about being able to spend time and communicate with them. Or how much you love watching them interact with their grandkids. Emphasize how you want to maintain those connections and enjoy your time together for as long as possible.
If they respond with denial or stubbornly insist they’re fine, that may be the time to share some of the research about where the path of hearing loss can lead but don’t start there.
4. Share specific examples
When you do bring up your concerns, it’s important to come prepared with examples.
“Quite often with hearing loss, if you’re missing it, you’re not even aware that you’re missing it,” Troast says.
In other words, Mom or Dad are likely oblivious to some of the signs you’ve noticed. Don’t just tell them you’re worried about their hearing; be specific. Share trends you’ve observed and how those may be early warning signs you’d rather not ignore.
5. Help them take the first step
Finally, reassure them that you’re only asking them to get evaluated. This isn’t a commitment to wearing hearing aids — it’s simply a chance to test their hearing and see what the doctors find.
Troast also notes that you can also reassure them that, even if they do end up needing hearing aids, the technology has improved drastically. Today’s devices are a far cry from the ones they may have seen their parents wear. They’re easier to use, more discreet and more effective. Reassure them that, whatever the outcome, you can find a solution they’re comfortable with.
How parents can be more open to discussing hearing loss
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This is a dialog between two parties, and the children aren’t the only ones who may need tips on how to approach it.
If you’re an aging parent, you can take steps to be more open to conversations about hearing loss. Troast encourages all adults to be attentive and look for warning signs themselves so they’re less likely to be taken aback when their children approach them. He also urges parents to remember that if their kids bring it up, it’s almost always because they care and want to help.
Most of all, Troast emphasizes how life-changing hearing aids can be.
“More often than not, the response I get from somebody who does get hearing aids is, ‘Wow, I wish I would have done this sooner,'” he says.
Start the conversation
Conversations about hearing loss can be intimidating, especially when they involve your parents. Stepping into those conversations could help your parents stay mentally strong, physically healthy and socially engaged for many more years. That alone is worth the effort.
If you approach the topic with care and sensitivity, emphasizing your desire to maintain a strong relationship, you may find that Mom or Dad are more than willing to hear you out.